"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

written by Christopher Logue, a British poet, about Guillaume Apollinaire.



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i'm not going to talk bad about you on the internet - because MY momma taught me better than that

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You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you You're so vain, Ill bet you think this blog is about you - Don't you? Don't you?

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So Clooney broke up with the Vegas go go dancer/cocktail waitress. My agony has ended. I've said before, it was really just the timing of it all for me. I really hated turning 40 and 41 I pretty much ignored. Anyway, basically already obsessing over how EVERY woman eventually has to put away the micro miniskirts (this has less to do with your legs and more to do with your attitude). But what's so hard is - men take viagara now, extending their sexual lives robustness, and frankly, age better than women looks wise on the average - and well - you see so many women traded in for younger hotter models - b/c it works for both the older man and the younger woman - and you don't see that many older women/younger men for a reason right? So it's really hard to get past it certainly appears that a woman's sexuality is quite possibly the most valued thing by men - and I get that, even see it's natural origin - but it is still depressing to a woman approaching middle age at times. I work hard to accept and grow and age with grace - I would rather die than be out there trying too hard, trying to be something I'm not, trying to force something or some view - I cringe at middle aged woman in clothes meant for 20 somethings or

well

just trying too hard! It's so NOT sexy.

Anyway - I was in all that right after my bday last spring so when one of my VERY FEW Hollywood male obsessions (Clooney, Welling, Piven), who has exposure to so many interesting, talented, creative women, repeated his womanizing cycle of hot, two decades younger, girlfriend and parade her around his glamourous life only to drop her when he gets bored (full disclosure he gives I know but it still must devastating to return to normal life for her) - was tough.

So to see her suffer in the end - waps me out of my romanticized Hollywood prince vision I put him on, the Cinderella tag I'd put on her - and shoves me back in the reality which albeit cold, is where I'm most comfortable. Fantasy is just that - and dissapoints if you look at it too long, no?

So while I don't think it's sexy he gets eye surgery or spends $30,000.00 to veneer his teeth and laser surgery his gums to give him a brighter smile (god - it must suck to be so paranoid about keeping your looks - he sounds like a girl!) - and while I truly feel a bit for her now (though I'm sure the experiences and no doubt gifts and connections across the last year are worth the heartache) - I'm glad it's over.

So when he picks up the pretty waitress at the next bar he's at, I'll be ready and remember not to hate her for getting to play Cinderella.

Now Piven does it - I am back at square one.



Work still sucks. I work in the mortgage industry. 'nuff said.

Taking Alex on his first real roadtrip since he was a baby tomorrow to see Mimerl. They haven't seen him over there in two years. She's 84 now and I know it will be great for her for me to bring him to her. I'm really excited - even with photos - you cannot really appreciate Alex until you've experienced his charm first hands.

I hope you guys are all doin' well!

More later!


Mary

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More thumbs? Check previous journals here and the journals of these supportive deviants:



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My Collection of Photos
My Collection of Alex Photos
My Pop whom I love

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