Family MedicineFamily MedicineI walked home from school from the time I was ten years old and sometimes it would take nearly an hour. We never lived close to school. It wasn't so bad when the weather was pretty. I only knew one other girl that had to walk as far home in the fourth grade. Losana Wong, the only girl in school I talked to. She never said much or asked anything of me, making it easy to be around her. I walked home with Losana every day. She lived several blocks closer to school so I still ended up walking alone at the end. She was my first and only friend in Dallas. I would never have many friends in school, my parents didn't encourage me to socialize. Bringing friends to our house was discouraged. It really wasn't a place for children.We would arrive at her house first. It was brick and completely covered with ivy. A wooden birdcage and a set o
-RUDEDYET-8 a.m."Good morning Mary".She is ambushed from the time she steps foot into the parking lot. She reminds herself to breathe.(Don't talk to me.)She nods and starts her inner coach. (Come on, you can do it.)"Good morning Mary".Her chest tightens. She reminds herself to breathe and exhales loudly. Her badge ruins her outfit and she hates it.(Do we HAVE to talk?)She smiles."Good morning Mary".Her morning xanex begins to take effect. They knew better than to expect her to stop and chat. She grabs his Wall Street Journal and gets back on the elevator."Good morning Mary".(Quit talking to me.)The elevator seemed to make things worse. She stared at the floor."Good morning Mary".Through the security door there is a thirty second path of freedom, where no one can see and no-one ever seems to pass by. She relishes a deep full breath. She turns the corner and glances through the glass wall. He is already here. Her body stiffens, her breath stops and her eyes avert straight
--Got Beauty--Every day I wake up it amazes me the number of beauty products I use. Whether its shampoo, conditioner, facial soap, body soap, shaving cream…….powder, body lotion, (and for the freak I am – foot lotion, hand lotion, facial lotion, eye cream and then body lotion)……then we get to the makeup and hair products. Not worth mentioning. Then you have the regular "chick" stuff you do. Waxing, bleaching, shaving off body hair. Your arms, your legs, your upper lip.Getting ready for my last photo shoot – I realized I wanted to bleach the hair on my upper lip. Photography is not kind. As I saw myself in the mirror – I realized how I'd convinced myself it was a necessity. I had grown USED to bleaching it, as I had grown USED to shaving my legs once I started as a teenager.I have this hippy girlfriend of mine – she doesn't shave anything. It always blows me away her freedom to be whatever she wants to be, to hell with the "norm" of feminine beauty and that her beauty is apparent and shine
--mirage--I no longer know who I am.I decorate my shell as the mirage I suspect you yearn to swim in, entranced withthe quench of feminine attention, unconcerned with the slug inside.I can't share what I don't have.So yes, drinks, dinner, or just your time,Stare into my eyes, gawk at my body but please…….don't look at me.I turn to dust in silence.I'm an open book, in a language you'll never comprehend…..a public statue whose reference you don't recognize yet use as a landmark of your experience.Feel the braille on my lips.So leave me here, in your fantasy, in your dream, in your darkness……its where I feel the safest anyway......