One thing I hate - is feeling trapped.
The ice has come back to Dallas - as it does every year.
Not snow. Ice. Day two of truly being trapped - no one can drive on the inches thick solid ice. The grocery stores are wiped clean as their own delivery trucks cannot get in to restock.
My car died in the sleet at the onset two days ago in the grocery store parking lot. They think it's my key fob recognition and not a battery, etc.
Not that I'd be using it anyway - but it's just weird to not be able to do anything about it for days on end and not see that's it's o.k. We have the grocery store folks watching it and it is parked in the very front of the store.
They predict we will be free on Tuesday. TUESDAY!!
That's three days from now.
Alex spent yesterday at a neighbor's house playing with his buddies. Today he and I hung out while Michael napped.
We watched the 1960 Hitchcock classic Psycho. Truly stellar film and writing - makes me miss writing. Alex enjoyed it and thought he had it all figured out until the end.
It's not scary to a kid of today - the movie is damn near 60 years old at this point (54 to be exact) - but the greatness of the classic was not lost on him - nor the acting chops of Anthony Perkins. It was a fun time.
All of our
decorations inside/out are up and the ice is pretty from the windows inside. I even stepped out for a few photos which I'll try to post later.
Anyone else watch David LaChapelle behind the scenes take the infamous Kardashian holiday photo this year? He is astounding as always and it makes an artist feel inspired. How grand it must be to swim in your art with no limits.
Our family is separated this year - traditions blown to smithereens - but that's o.k. It's o.k. to change - to grow - to evolve. I personally find the pressure of tradition and holidays on family a bit stressful and unnecessary. So it will be small and scattered but in the end - I have my Wuzza and Alex
, my parents, my mother-in-law that reminds me family matters and one of my best friends will be in town from Hawaii for a yearly visit.
All in 2013 sorta sucked for me. My grandmother's death, expected or not, was fairly traumatic for me. Mainly because it triggered the final disintegration of a very toxic family unit on my Mother's side. Individually I do fine with every last one of them - but a lot of that has to do with me and my efforts to let people be different and human and love them anyway - but as a whole, the anger, resentment and hatred just finally self-combusted. It's astonishing how siblings can grow to blame one another and NEVER LET IT GO year after year after year. That's no way to live.
I did, however, make some new friends and one truly good last a lifetime friend.
For that I am truly grateful, since I had suffered the loss of one moving across the planet in 2012.
Work - well - it's hard to work in a giant corporate financial institution and not run across the evils of ambition. I think little of women in the workplace for the most part - which is a shame -but my experience has shown we as a culture have a long way to go to understand it's about the work and not one another. I remind myself daily not to shine less just to make someone else more comfortable. I did read the infamous LEAN IN - and it was inspiring to keep on challenging and starting from integrity so you're not distracted by trying to keep everyone happy.
Art took a beating for me in 2013. Thanks to my muse Isabel who helped me do the one creative shoot I did all year long - though it was lost to most on this site. (I will refrain from complaining about the BORING naked chick with photoshop filters moody angsty genre of art that has taken over this site for the most part.) I just had to heal from my family's demise and the stress of work and loss of friends (lots of loss in 2012 - 2013 for me) for my muse to even have the energy to stir something up in me. I am hoping for a rebirth in 2014.
For those few of you that still read my journals - forgive me for not sharing anymore art than I have in the last year and for sticking to the simple nature photography and cat photos - at least I keep them good when I shoot them.
I hope any of you are alive with your muse and know that you are more than your friends, more than your family, more than the expected holiday tradition and certainly more than another's opinion of you - I hope you learn to take risks in 2014 and challenge yourself and create, create, create.